From an entry on Marc Andreessen’s blog, excerpts of a letter from Bear Stearns, presumably to shareholders:
The preliminary estimates show there is effectively no value left for the investors in the Enhanced Leverage Fund and very little value left for the investors in the High-Grade Fund…
So that’s not really what you want to hear from your hedge fund.
A team at BSAM has been working diligently to calculate the 2007 month-end performance for both May and June for the Funds.
Missing sentence: “The difficulty in calculating performance amid a surge in redemptions and margin calls has delayed our determining whether Fund investors are hosed, screwed, shit out of luck, or completely f’d.”
If you’re a heavy hedge fund investor, you probably want to save that letter. Then, when you get similar ones from some of your other highly leveraged funds down the road, you can diff them and look for similarities. It’ll be a fun (and free!) little game. Then we can reminisce about the good old days, when you made fun of me for not “supercharging my returns”.
The Bear Stearns letter on the collapse of its two hedge funds is quite breathtaking in its arrogance. An investor might have thought that the best way to restore his confidence in Bear Stearns would be to repay him his hedge fund losses in full! Instead, BS (sic) seems to believe that their clients will be reassured by the firm’s untiring efforts to re-establish its good name.
Clients should vote on this matter with their feet.
The Bear Stearns letter on the collapse of its two hedge funds is quite breathtaking in its arrogance. An investor might have thought that the best way to restore his confidence in Bear Stearns would be to repay him his hedge fund losses in full! Instead, BS (sic) seems to believe that their clients will be reassured by the firm’s untiring efforts to re-establish its good name. Clients should vote on this matter with their feet.